Every time I think I'm closer to the heart Of what it means to know just who I am

Hello.

I haven't wrote here in a while.

Last night: I had a movie night and watched Family Stone and Baby Mama. I wish tonight I could go out and do something awesome. I can't believe its Christmas. It doesn't even feel like it. We don't a have any decorations set up or anything. It kinda sucks. But I guess it's because of everything that has been going on lately. Ah life is so confusing. I wish this year was better. But senior sucks. Everyone was like oh yeah its so much fun you don't do anything. Bull crap. You do a crap load of work. I have to admit I've met some amazing people this year though. Like people I would never talk to, I'm friends with them. That's the only good part of this year. My friends pretty much keep me going. I have no idea what I would do without them and I'm really blessed to have them in my life.
I'm really mad right now because my boss told me I had to come in at 1-4 tomorrow and then I was like okay, and then she was like nevermind 5:15-7:45 and i was like okay that's fine too and then she was like wait hold on a minute and she goes come in at 3 until 7:45 and I was like WHAT?!?!?! coaching kids that long is not my thing. I can hardly stand it for an hour. Ah. nothing is going right. I wonder why people tell you that they will do something for you and they've been telling you that for a year and they find all the excuses in the world to avoid doing it. And when the time comes their just like "NO YOUR NOT GETTING IT!" and you've had your hopes up and everything. It depresses me so much. AND NO ONE WANTS TO HANGOUT WITH ME! I ask like 38475894375 people if they wanna see a movie and they either can't or don't want to. I hate being sad. That's all my life is right now is sad. I'm only happy when I'm around my friends. You know what really ticks me off, when I have plans to go to the mall but I break them to do something else with someone else and then they back out. And then I have plans to go to the mall another day and I have to cancel them again to sit at home and do freaking nothing. Ah.

Oprah Winfrey for President


Quote of the day: "My mother buried three husbands, and two of them were just napping."- Rita Rudner

Where you are is where I wanna be next to you, you next to me.

hello. So last night was pretty fun. I ate with my mom and cassie at some italian place. Then i went bowling with alie and Gracelyn. Haha it was so random but fun. Then we all went to walmart and then i had to wait forever for cassie to get done with her date. Ah it took so stinking long. I also had to take the sat which sucked really really bad. Yesterday was good but it could have been a whole lot better. Oh well.

This time our song is playing until the very end.

Do you ever feel like no one at all is listening to you? And you just want to run away. I think I'm gonna go bowling again tonight. And just throw my anger at the ball. Then, I'm gonna buy batteries and play Wii boxing to get all my anger out. I need to clean my room. I'm talking to Billie on Myspace right now. I just realized that I'm really about to graduate. Three weeks from now it's going to be Christmas. Time is really going by fast. There's not a way to stop it either. Scary. This time this year I might be home for Thanksgiving. It just depends on how this whole thing in my life that I'm dealing with works out. J.c. gave me some kind words "Dang. Becca your going through more than any teenage girl should ever go through. Stay strong." I think life would be better if things wouldn't have happened around holiday season. But of course, my mom likes to make me miserable I think. She loves to see me upset because whenever I try to talk to her about whats going on, she just smiles at me. Then Cassie makes smart ass comments. It sucks so bad. I'm trying to get through this Christmas. I don't really care about it either. I'm just about to say shit on the holiday I'm getting nobody nothing. like nobody at all. I used to love Christmas. It's like when I talked to my brother's girlfriend Jessica last night, she said we went through the same thing and thats why she hates Christmas and doesn't spend it with her family. Hmm I don't know what to think. I wanna do something exciting and something exciting for me though.
Blogging gets my emotions out.

You better be careful what you do I wouldn't wanna be in your shoes if they ever figured you out

Hello BlogWorld:

I'm soo happy it's finally Saturday.

Yesterday was a pretty swell day.

B Day was yesterday:

1st block: we watched Mrs.Williams do some thing for Thanksgiving.
2nd block: we watched Lord Of The Rings. I slept like half the movie. I felt like crap.
3rd block: we just listened to Coach Hunter talk about how lame Twilight is.
4th block: we did our presentations.

Then we had cheerleading practice.
Then I went to the gym to wait on Gracelyn to finish coaching. And Alie, and me and Gracelyn went to Zaxby's. Then Olivia and me went to see The Box. Well Gracelyn and Alie went too but we got separated and I ended up sitting by Olivia and this fat guy. haha that movie sucked so much. it was so weird. Olivia was like "AHH JESUS JESUS!!!" and the fat guy was like "SHOOT HIM! PUSH THE BUTTON!" and then Alie and Gracelyn and me went to Dairy Queen and ate ice cream. Then we were walking out and we dared Alie to go up to the window and just stare and she did. it was soo stinking funny.

Ah Monday is our first game. and i'm so nervous
I'm gonna suck so bad.

Quote of the day:
"A boy can learn a lot from a dog: obedience, loyalty, and the importance of turning around three times before lying down."
- Robert Benchley

So hard with my girls not around me, its definitely not a Blue Ridge Party.

Gosh I haven't blogged in forever.

Well... where do I even start?
Life is good right now.

I've been super super busy.

Filling out college applications, scholarship applications, Economics homework, and Algebra 3 homework.

Plus cheerleading and coaching.

Everything is pretty good though.

I have my days where I'm in a really bad mood or a really good day.

This past weekend was Fall Formal
I have to say it was pretty fun.
We did pictures at 3 and then ate at Tin Loong. Then we all went to Downtown Blue Ridge to walk. And then we went to the dance. It really was fun. Haha I made an idiot of myself dancing though. I looked retarded as crap.

Today was an A day:

1st block: we took a self actualization test.
2nd block: we watched Labor and Delivery. Ah I do not want kids after seeing that.
3rd block: she just asked us questions that's all about us. Like our favorite color and stuff like that. Like a survey you fill out on myspace.
4th block: I worked on Economics homework and we planned our new video Sibling Rivalry.

Tomorrow I have 2 tests. =[
Probably will fail them too. =[
and I have cheerleading practice.

Quote of the day:
"I'm in one of those moods that nothing is really wrong in my life, but my brain keeps on insisting that there is. Or maybe it's my heart thats doing the insisting. I can't really tell. You know that feeling?"

Fall Formal Pictures

Can't Sleep Through The Night

Gosh. I haven't been on here in like ages.

Right now, life is..complicated.

I thought Senior year was supposed to be the best and funnest year. But its really not. I don't know if its because of the stupid new schedule or the sucky hard classes I have. Maybe its just me.

Currently, it is Fall Break.
I'm supposed to be going to Netherworld this week. I'm quite excited.

I'm also trying to talk my brother and his friend Bj, yes his name is Bj, to take me and some friends to Six Flags this month.

Hmm...so Cheerleading starts next week.
I need to get in shape so bad.

Nothing is really new.

Mrs.Shelley got a puppy. He's so cute.

ahaha
okay well thats my post of the day.

Becca.

Quote of the day:
Casey: "I wish I was like Spongebob, like play the flute with my nose."
Becca: "Spongebob is so annoying."
Casey: "No he's not. Spongebob is awesome."
Becca: "He's gay."
Casey: "You're a Squidward. SPONGEBOB."
Becca: "Haha a Squidward."

When you look me in the eyes tell me that you love me

Today was a great day:

A Day:
1st block: We did our presentations and so we all went to get dressed and I didn't have a mustache so I got a piece of paper and drew a mustache and cut it out and taped it to myself haha. that was a laugh.
2nd block: we went outside and filled a chart for stuff
3rd block: we decorated folders that was fun.
4th block: I thought I was going to be in a group with these emo kids and I was so mad and Mrs.Payne was like get into your groups and you have to shoot footage and edit it and all that but the group i was in had to go with mrs.payne and edit their intro video and then Mrs.Payne was like Becca, Connor and Bubba need to talk to you and they were like do you want to be in a group with us and I was like yall already have 6 people. and they were like Mrs.Payne said we could be a group of three and i was like YES!!! so we did this really weird and funny thing haha. then we watched our multimedia video. which is awesome. i love it.

Quote of the day:
Casey: "Who is he dating?"
Becca: "Her."
Casey: "Ew why she's fat!"
Becca: "Oh gosh you're terrible I knew you would say that."
Casey: "I would rather rape a goat then date that!"
Becca: "CASEY!!!! THATS AWFUL!!!!"
Casey: "WHAT WHAT??!? MRS.KNIGHT MADE YOU GUYS WATCH THAT!! I just hate her now because she made you guys watch that!"

Who cares?

I'm like so overwhelmed with homework and everything.

I thought they weren't supposed to assign so much homework but they do.

2 Projects
rough draft paper
a test that the class didn't even know about
a quiz
2 other projects

ugh im so sick of school and all the crap.

As I'm standing here and you hold my hand pull me towards you and we start to dance

Today was boring/adventurous

I woke up this morning at 9 anticipating on going to church with Cassie. I got to my grandma's at 9:35 and everyone but Cassie and David were sleeping. So mom made some waffles. The first batch was ew gross. But the second was better.
Then everyone left for the reunion and Cassie and me stayed behind.
Later on, I took a nap, and I got up and I was like lets go to Dairy Queen. So no one knew we left but we left a note. And we went to Dairy Queen and then Roses and saw cute shoes. Then we went into Ingles and got a whoopee cushion and we got behind people and pushed on it and stuff haha it so funny. And then we went to CVS and then to the Dollar General and bought candy and root beer and looked around. Then we went to Home Depot. And the Jonas Brothers song When You Look Me In The Eyes song came on and I was like oh now we have to stay until its over. Then we went to McDonalds to get a sweet tea and Cassie was like I need a large sweet tea and she said it like Sloth off Ice Age and we pull up to the window and the woman gave me a mean look and didn't say anything and I was like you can keep the change and Cassie was going "I DROPPED MY SWEET TART WHERE IS IT!" haha and then we went to Blue Ridge Cinema which is right by McDonalds to see Julie and Julia. It was sooo good. I can't wait for it to come out on DVD.
Then we went to the gas station and cranked up Party In The USA and Down.
Tonight was a good night

Quote of the day:
"Find something you're passionate about and keep tremendously interested in it."-Julia Child

If the heart is always searching, can you ever find a home?

I feel so alone.
I'm tired of it.

I'm out here alone, trying to get home

Today was okay.

B DAY:
1st block: We made waffles. They were gross. I was in a group with Kristin, Connor, and Matt. haha. And I cracked the egg and shells went in it haha! i was like there's not shells and Connor was like yeah right look how many white things there are in this! haha. But the first batch was GROSS.
2nd block: we did a reading check which i totally failed.
3rd block: we took a quiz. and YES I MADE a 70 on my quiz!! WHOOT WHOOT! I was so excited. Half of the class failed. One kid made a 6.
4th block: we just talked. and then I was freaking out because I couldn't find my keys and I went to the office and Melinda was in there and I was like where are the keys and shes like go ask mrs.donahue so I asked her and she was like go to the third floor to mrs.jackie she has them so I got up there and those weren't my keys haha. And so we had to find Ansley and Ansley swore she didn't have my keys so I went into Mrs.Atkins room and she had the keys haha. And I was like running to my car before the busses got there and Mrs.Dangler was like what's wrong honey haha it was funny.

Quote of the day: "Boys don't really know what they're doing half the time. Sometimes I'm oblivious to flirting, and I just have to ask, "Okay, what's the deal? Are you into me or not?" Or I'm the last one to even realize that I have a girlfriend until someone mentions it."-Nick Jonas

Hanging out down the street the same old thing we did last week

today was A day.
I went to the doctor yesterday and they told me they called my medicine in to Brasstown in Blairsville and my mom was like no they told me you didn't. and she was like well go up there again after we're through and it should be there. and whala it wasn't there and it was never called in. but i did get sleeping pills. finally.

1st block: we played a weird game.
2nd block: we played the same game.
3rd block: we played the same game again. haha but it was funner
4th block: we came up with our intro ideas.

In 4th block I'm in a group with Bubba, Cole, Rachel, Chris, and Josh. There's just one person everyone is not to excited about. But we all have to meet at 3:30 on Sunday to shoot our footage or whatever you would call it. I'm really excited and I think it will work out fantabulous.

Quote of the day:
Mrs.Colwell: "Becca, what's some things you can't tolerate?"
Becca: "When people say 'Your mom' or 'You would do that Becca' and 'That's what she said.' I could just slap that person."
Mrs.Colwell: "Well, now everyone knows not to say that to Becca or you will get slapped. Where do people get those anyways?"
Some girl: "Off movies. And they try to re-act it by doing it with stupidity."
Becca: "I hate it. Especially the new one everyone is saying..'You would.'"
Mrs.Colwell: "That is dumb. You would do that. No I wouldn't how do you know? HAHA!!"

Right here, right now, tomorrow can wait for some other day

Today was okay.

A day:
1st block: Ansley and me listened to my ipod and worked on your little "Textbook Tour"
2nd block: We did the textbook tour
3rd block: Same
4th block: we decided our intro for multimedia. i say my group will have the best.

Tomorrow I'm going to the doctor.

Quote of the day:
(In English)
Casey: "What if I had a limp arm?"
Becca: "What?"
Casey: "What if I had a limp arm?"
Becca: "What's a lip balm?"
Casey: "No a limp arm like whaaa!! whaa!!"
Becca: "OHHH then you would be...one interesting creature."

Baby are you down down down down down

Down Down Even if the sky is falling down
You ought to know
Tonight is the night to let it go
Put on a show
I wanna see how you lose control


Hello!

Last night was a night I will never forget.
On the way there we jammed out to Jonas Brothers and High School Musical haha
Then we FINALLY got there and we waited in line forever and took a picture with these kids and their dad wanted a picture with us without his kids so Hayley Erin and Laurel took a picture with him..I wasn't getting in it thats weird. Then we got escorted to another place so we could get in faster and met the band HOTSPUR and they were so nice. so we took a picture with them
Then we finally got seated and Honor Society came on and they were great. And played Where Are You Now the best song ever. Everyone says its our graduation song. Then these girls "Wonder Women" came out and they...were okay I guess. And then Jordan Sparks who was amazing. And then finally the Jonas Brothers. It was a lot of fun. I will never forget it. And we touched Big Rob. AND talked to him. Yes. we did. =]
Big Rob raps in the Burning Up song/video so look it up everyone loves him.
There were so many dads there it was hilarious.

Quote of the day:
Singing in the car:
All of us: "Why does love have to feel like a battlefield a battlefield a battlefield.."
Tom: "Love is a battlefield....WHAT THE F IS THAT FAGGOT DOING?? I hate faggots. geezz."

All that matters is the love and laughter

Yesterday was great.
I finally have a change.
I dyed my hair. YES finally.

I went to the car hop and had adventures with Billieboo. That was a lot of fun.
Then we went to the football game. That was a lot of fun. I'm glad I've gotten to know Megan. She's so sweet. Then we went to Wendy's and Walmart.
Walmart is pretty sweet.

TONIGHT IS THE JONAS BROTHERS CONCERT! WHOOT WHOOT!
I'M SO EXCITED!

QUOTE OF THE DAY:
(HAYLEY CALLS)
Hayley: "Hey Becca, did you find your phone?"
Becca: "Haha yeah..."
Hayley: "WELL DUH YOU'RE TALKING TO ME HAHA!!"

haha she cracks me up

I'm falling apart, I'm barely breathing..with a broken heart.

This, my friends and neighbors, is the table Jordan and me were at while we were waiting on our 14 guests to arrive. We waited for 45 minutes. Everyone was late. Talk about embarrassing. I haven't been to Mexican since last Saturday. Thats kinda a record.


I can honestly say this has been a great week. And I thank God so much for it. I've started something new to build up my relationship with God. I'm starting to put all my trust and worries to God so I don't really have to worry about anything. Because I know God will help me through everything. He's really blessed me with the family and friends and everything I have, and I'm so grateful for that.

Yesterday was a great day it was A Day!
1st block: We worked on our bulletin board. Kelsey, Corina, and me went to the library and made a border and then Corina and me had to glue like 1000 little castles to the boarder.
2nd block: We worked on our bulletin. Chris and me mostly hot glued everything.
3rd block: We worked on our bulletin and finished it! Once again, me and Shawna were the hot gluers. haha. thats not even a word. oh well.
4th block: I was in a group with Bubba, Alden, Connor, and Hayley and we had to do different camera techniques. It was a lot of fun. Haha in on video Hayley and me are beating Bubba up and he's acting like he's crying and then we have two videos of two random weird people walking and another one of all of us dancing.. It was fun. AND OH MY GOSH I'M GOING TO THE JONAS BROTHERS CONCERT WHOOOOOT WHHOOOOOOTTT SO EXCITED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Today: B DAY:
1st block: We cooked.
2nd block: Was soo boring. We had to write about who we thought was the most courageous person we knew and Casey begged me to put him and I was like fine and he told me he write about me BUT the little guy signed out. I was so mad.
3rd block: Ah. Coach Hunter scared the living crap out of me because he said we had a quiz today but he was kidding. Its on Monday.
4th block: We reviewed for our test Monday. and shot a ball in the trash can. Fun

Ah tomorrow I get my hair done!!
YAY and then the car hop!

Quote of the day:
Trisha: "I'm ugly though."
Becca: "If a guy is talking to you and likes you, then he thinks you're beautiful no matter what."

How do you like me now, now that I'm on my way. You still think I'm crazy standing here today

I feel like I'm, a million miles away. From myself. More and more these days. I've been down so many open roads, but they never lead me home and now I just don't know, who I really am or how its gonna be, is there something that I can't see? I want to understand. Maybe I will never be, who I was before. Maybe I don't even know her anymore. Maybe who I am today, ain't so far from yesterday, can I find a way to be, every part of me? So I'll try to sort things out, and find myself, get my feet back on the ground. It'll take time, but I know I'll be alright cause nothing much has changed, on the inside. It's hard to figure out how it's gonna be cause I don't really know now I wish i could understand. I don't wanna wait too long to find out where I'm meant to belong, I've always wanted to be where I am today but I never thought I'd feel this way

If it wasn't for you I would be nothing.

To my ex-best friends Don't know how we grew apart To my favorite band And sing-alongs in my car To the face I see In my memories. You showed me how How to live like I do If it wasn't for you I would never be who I am. To the ones I loved But didn't show it enough. And I'll never see those days again And things will never be that way again But that's just how it goes People change, but I know I won't forget you. To the ones who cared And who were there from the start To the love that left and took a piece of my heart To the few who'd swear I'd never go anywhere.

im loosing myself trying to compete with everyone else instead of just being me i dont know where to turn ive been stuck in this routine i need to change my ways instead of always being weak i dont want to be afraid i wanna wake up feeling beautiful today and know that im okay, cause everones perfect in usual ways. so see i just wanna believe in me. the mirror can lie cause it cant show you whats inside and it can tell you your full of lies ts amazing what you can hide just by putting on a smile.

Oh I wanna know how forever feels

Today...was no better really...it kinda was but not really.

I want things to go to the way they used to be, with my parents, friends, and everything.

But I know it won't happen.

A Day
1st block: Worked on bulletin board ideas.
2nd block: did the same BUT i just made copies for Mrs.Colwell and I went to the library to cut out every piece of cutting thing they had
3rd block: we did the same thing but me, and then Shawna came along to help me, made the cut outs onto paper and made it into a book..well its gonna be a book.
4th block: i thought i would like multimedia but i really hate it. its so boring and i can't stand 99% of the people in there.

I have at least one person in every class who I want to just scream at. and today was not the day to get on my last nerves.

i'm sick of this shit don't ask why

I need to blog:

GAHHH I'm so fucked up.

With my parents and my friends and school and work. Everything goes right for not even a week and then things fuck up. it's always been that way for me. I'm tired of losing people who mean so much to me and we're not friends anymore because of what other people say or do. gah its just pisses me off. I've cried more than I ever have probably today. If I had a bucket it would be full with tears. I'm not kidding. I am a mess and I don't have anything to do but cry and cry and cry. because the friends who are usually there for me are pissed at me. i'm just at the point where i'm like fuck it i'm gonna drop out of school and I'm just going to do nothing with my life. it would be a hell of a lot better than fucking life right now. i can't even type because im so upset and torn up. i feel like a family member died but worse.

fuck my life is all i got to say.
kill me now.

she just has to have a boyfriend every year and treat him like hell...you can go to hell

hello.

today was stressful.
i set my alarm for 6:25 and i woke up at 6:45 because my alarm didn't even come on.

so I was freaking out and my hair looked awful omg.

I was supposed to leave the house at 6:45


B DAY:
1st block:I'm gonna love that class. Wendy and Connor are in it and Matt! haha
Connor was going to switch out but he's not thankfully.
2nd block: Was so boring ughhhhhhhhhhhhh but Jc Casey and Brandon are in there.
3rd block: I was so scared to go in there but I have a lot of friends in there as well. Coach Hunter cracked me up the funny thing is he was serious the whole time. and i have 51 math problems to do.
Lunch: I sat with Connor, Casey, Brandon, Timmy, and some weird kid. I tried to kick him out but it didn't work.
4th block: I don't have anyone in that class. there's like 6 girls thats it. but i have homework in there too.

Then I just got back from coaching and it sucked so BAD
UGHHH!!!!! I've never taught so many whiny kids. it pissed me off

Quote of the day:
Coach Hunter: "People don't know how stupid they look cuddling in the hallways. Guys don't get yourself attached to girls seriously, they make girls everyday. There's plenty of fish in the sea."

And I'm only me when I'm with you

Hello fellow ladiators.

My first day of school was great.

Homeroom: Coach Byers kinda saddened me by telling us we need to enjoy our last year and everything. And Kara just cracked me up haha.
1st block: I sat by Ansley and then we had to play this game to get to know everyone haha.
2nd block: I had Mrs.Colwell again...and theres only 12 people in that class. So I sat by Chris Phillips haha and Chris and me are the only upperclassmen
3rd block: I had Mrs. Colwell again haha and there were only 10 girls in there. And I'm the only senior haha.

I ate lunch with Connor, Ashley, Jordan, Landon, Pierce, Michael, and Seth.

4th block: Theres like 29 people in our multimedia class. It looks like a fun class and everyone could probably get along. We have one junior in there though..which isn't bad.

But all in all it was a great day and I'm hoping today will be a great day.

Quote of the day:
Becca: "Hello Connor and Ashley."
Ashley: "Hey girl!"
Becca: "Hey hey you look pretty."
Ashley: "You look sexy."
Becca: "Psh you look sexier."
Connor: "Haha uhm okay.. This is awkward."

I'm pretty confident I'm gonna have a good year this year. I can't wait!

I'm hanging on another day, just to see what you will throw my way.

These past few days have been odd.


I'm not ready for school to start.
I feel like my life is being rushed.

There's so many deadlines for everything:
College
Work
School
Cheerleading
Spending time with friends/family

I can't do it all at once.
I feel like its going to be very stressful this year.


I'm not happy though and thats the one thing I'm missing. I'm just not how I used to be. Happy.

It kinda seems like people move in a different direction with everything.
Like, you talk to someone for a really long time and then all of a sudden that person doesn't talk to you as much anymore.
I hate it. I planned on going to so many places with my friends this summer and it didn't happen. Its really disappointed me now that I've thought about it.

Today: Cassie and me went to the Mexican Restaurant for lunch and our waitress wouldn't bring us any drinks so Cassie got up and went to go get her own water haha. Then I coached. And Daniel, Cassie, my mom, and me went to go eat at Fatz. Now I'm here at my grandmas. My mom told me today that we are more than likely going to trade her car tomorrow. I'm excited. I'm just blessed to have a mom like her. Most moms wouldn't trade their cars to get their kid a better car. I know I call my mom a bitch and things but she's really not. And it takes time to realize the good in people more than the bad. I learned shes just trying to watch out for me.

Quote of the day:

Jc: "and o yea i saw mrs. atkins at bi-lo."
Becca: "did she talk to you?"
Jc: "she was asking me questions and i just stared at her."
Becca: "are you serious?"
Jc: "yea lol she goes are u excited about school and i go yea and just stared and she goes ok..im gona go buy more food bye."
Becca:"hahahahahahahaha"
Jc: "she hates me so much u were her favorite in the class. but she hated the rest of us."

I never meant to start a war, you know I never wanna hurt you

Right now, I'm refusing to drive my car.

It's a piece of shit and my mom told me we were going shopping Saturday and I canceled all my plans during the day to go and now shes like we're not going well I don't know if we're going is what she tells me. And I'm just pissed at her so much right now. I get let down so much.

Today: I'm not doing shit because I don't have a car.

and Cassie's being bitchy.

Tomorrow: I HOPE I CAN GET THAT CAR


This has been like the worst summer. I feel like I wasted half of my summer doing nothing but being depressed because my life is nothing but shit.

Quote of the day:
(On the phone)
Brandon: "SQUEAK! WAKE UP! Its like 2 in the morning."
Becca: "Oh my gosh is it really? You freaking woke me up."
Connor: "Yeah it is."
Becca: "Oh my gosh is Connor on the phone?"
Brandon: "Yeah is he..well its Connor Twitch."
Becca: "No its not! its Connor Smith!"
Brandon: "No Connor Twitch is Amish. He believes in cell phones though."
Becca: "Oh okay..I have like 2 classes with Connor Smith."
Connor: "Yeah I don't think you'll have any classes with me. I'm new here."
Becca: "You guys are full of crap. Why did you call me?"

I need to blog.

Some things have happened in my life that are very dramatic. I talked to my aunt today, and she told me I just need to stay strong and keep going on with my life. But I can't do it. I'm tired of doing that and telling people I'm fine and happy when I'm not. Its not fair, and I do not like telling people my problems. I'm just having a real hard time with everything right now. I feel so weak and I'm really really hurt. It seems like no one can make me feel better at all. I just want to be gone. Like out of this town. I talked to my dad last night and he told me, "Becca, I know you're having a hard time with family and friends but you just need to say fuck it and just move on. I don't like telling people my problems either and you shouldn't have to feel the need to share any of your problems with anyone if YOU don't want to. But you just need to not tell anyone anything so you won't have such a hard time. Girls are little bitches and if they think you're a whore because you have a lot of guy friends fuck them you don't need them in your life." He's right too. I let everyone walk all over me. I tell people things I don't want to tell them. I told him I can't wait until next year when I'll be out of this town and I can start all over with my life. I'm just so miserable and I cry every single night. I'm just tired of freaking everything. I used to care about so many people and try to help them but when I need help with something they're just like oh well you can do it and they just move on with their lives and they don't bother to talk to me until they need something. Its just greedy. I wanna write a book. I think thats what I'm going to do.

My sick of things list.

I'm sick of:

-People lying.
-Seeing a bunch of couples everywhere I go.
-Negativity.
-Two-faced people.
-People putting other people down.
-People using others.
-Not sleeping.
-Not seeing my parents live together.
-Getting fat.
-Being told what to do.
-Not having any money.
-Being told to go get a job.
-My car. It sucks. I wanna shoot it.
-Being sad all the time.
-Not being able to hangout as much as I use to.
-Girls thinking they are in love with someone after dating them for like 2 weeks. Get real. Seriously.
-Not being able to do what I want to do.
-Not being grateful enough for what I have.
-Being to forgiving.


From now on I'm going to do things that will make ME happy. I'm tired of TRYING to make others happy and failing. It hurts me and why should I do something to make others happy when it won't make me happy? I'm just tired of it.

What about love? Don't you want someone to care about you?

I'm so sick of the bull shit thats going on.

All I want is:

-a new car. (but I keep getting lied about to about that)
-my old friends back.
-I'm tired of being treated like shit.
-I'm tired of being used.
-I want to hangout with my friends whenever I want to sometimes I just need to hangout with my friends to get away from things.
-I'm tired of people walking all over me.
-my hair to be brown again which will happen next month.

I just hate how people think that they can take advantage of me all the time. Especially when I have a bigger car. HELLO! THATS WHY I'M HOPING TO GET A LITTLER ONE SO THAT DOESN'T HAPPEN. It really pisses me off. I've just been in one pissy mood today ever since I woke up. I'm really confused in life right now.
Right now at this point I just want to be left alone and do whatever I WANT TO DO not what anyone else wants me to do or whatever. I decide what I want to do not anyone else. I don't need people who are going to tell me what I have to do, I wish that included parents. But I'm getting really pissed at being told I'm getting a car when REALLY I'm not. I think they just tell me that so I'll shut up.

Gah talking about this just makes me want to throw things.

Quote of the day:
Guy: "Hey Rebecca."
Becca: "Hey."
Guy: "I didn't know you were here. You're the quiet one aren't you?"
Becca: "No I'm just really really mad right now."
Guy: "What happened? Did David Archuleta cancel a date on you?"
Cassie: "Haha thats a good one!"

That made me want to punch him in the face.

I tell everyone we are through cause I’m so much better without you

The past few days have been hell for me.

I feel like I'm trapped or something. Ah

Whatever though.

It seems now a days I can't do anything for anyone. Make anyone happy. This month has honestly sucked dick. I just am thinking a lot and I haven't got a full eight hours of sleep since God knows when and I'm really stressing out. I need to get away and make a full complete change fast. I'm tired of people looking down on me and walking all over me. I miss my old friends and not being able to see them is really killing me.

I can almost see it that dream I'm dreaming

Well...it's been quite a while since I've been on here.

The past three days I've been occupied with cheerleading camp. I love it so much. A lot more than I thought I would. I like the girls on the squad, everyone gets along its great.

Monday: Cheer camp.
Tuesday: Cheer camp, then Cassie, Kasey, and me went to eat at Blimpies before work. Then we all went to work.
Wednesday: Cheer camp and then Cassie and me met Billie at the Park and Ride at 6 and we all went to Funworld and saw the Hangover. Oh we met Emma and Rachel there and then we all went and got ice cream.

Today: I got up at 11 and talked to my dad for like five minutes and then I went and got Gracelyn and Cassie at the gym. And Kasey asked me if I could cash her check for her so I did that and we all ate at Blimpies. haha.

I'm in so much pain. Like I'm so sore.

Tonight: I have to stay home. I think it would be best too. I just need to and I'm so tired of staying out late and staying up late and having to wake up early. Its not healthy and its doing nothing for me. I'm just really really stressed out right now. I just feel sick.

Quote of the day:
Gracelyn: "I love you Becca."
Becca: "I love you like tater tots!"
Gracelyn: "Yeahh I LOVE YOU!"

Dreamers you see everything in color while the world is getting darker

Right now I'm alone.
And it just makes me think.

-Why do people want to ruin their life with all the shit they're doing?
-How can you say you hate someone so much and be that person's best friend?
-Why are most guys just players and use you and then never talk to you again?
-Why do your friends talk about their boyfriends 24/7 and talk about how happy they make them? I mean I care and all but it gets really annoying if its all they can talk about.
-Why are 14 year olds in a PMS stage all the freaking time?
-Why are many families falling apart?
-Why are so many couples breaking up?
-Why does someone brag about their boyfriend when everyone knows he's NOT that great as you make him out to be. He's just a dick and you're not going to get married.

I wish girls could see that they're gonna get played by at least one guy and that guy treats them like shit but they are still crazy about them. No matter how much that girl cries over that guy she still loves him. I just don't understand.

I was talking to my mom and I was like mom I'm really ready to get the hell out of this town and just move on with my life. And she said go to Fannin County I think you'll be happier there. I don't know if I want to do that though because it's my Senior Year. I have friends in Fannin County and everything but I don't hangout with them as much as I do my Union County friends. I'm really confused in my life. I hate when people ask me to hangout with them and I have plans with someone else and they just get so pissed at me. Gah. I hate it so much. I'm listening to David Archuleta right now.

You know what....I think I'm gonna make a lot of changes this year. When I graduate in May I want to take a road trip with my friends and I don't want anyone to bitch at me for going. I'm also going to follow my dreams like my dad always told me to do. He told me don't let anyone stop you from achieving your dreams and I know you have many dreams. I just don't know where or how to start. I'm not smart enough to half the crap I want to do. But I guess I need to believe and try harder. Tonight I believe I'm going to watch Sex In The City or something. I need time alone. Usually I like to go out every night. Well last week I didn't and I was sad all the time, but this week I've been out and about and I feel so tired and I just want to be alone for a while. I'm ready for a change. An extravagant change. I really want to die my hair back dark but everyone says no don't do it and all that horse crap. I just don't know what to do about anything anymore and I'm tired of feeling so lost all the time. This week has been a pretty good week but I just wonder how good things happen to bad people. It really gets to me too.

I see your face in my mind as I drive away

'Cause none of us thought it was gonna end that way

Yesterday: I went to see My Sister's Keeper ah it was so sad.
And last night I told Marshall and my dad that I had to have the Jonas Brothers 3D concert experience DVD and Marshall was like go to walmart and i was like not by myself thats dangerous and so my dad was like i'll go with you! so we went to Walmart and he saw the dent in my car when we left Walmart.
I wish I had it on video on how he reacted. "OH MY GOSH YOU'VE BEEN HIT!!!!!" haha He took it better than I thought he would.
Then this morning I woke up at like 10 and my dad came home from getting his gun license and told me I had like a blown up tire. and it was soo flat. so he put the spare on and it was flat too so he but some air in it. Then I came to Blairsville and its getting fixed. I don't see how I can get across to my parents about how quick I need a new car. its driving me crazy.
I don't know what I'm gonna do tonight. I don't feel like driving to Funworld. Actually I'm quite scared to in my car.
I think I'm just gonna stay home and watch the Jonas Brothers DVD I got. haha

Tomorrow: I'm working at the Diamond Center.
Because I'm a grand daughter.

Friday: I'm going to a birthday party.

Saturday: 4th of July party. hopefully Billie is coming.

Sunday: Lake Day with the family.

Quote of the day:
Dad: "This was such a pretty vehicle..now...well now.. it looks like (a word that shouldn't be said on here) and Mexicans drive it."
Becca: "Its not that bad dude."

Music starts playing like the end of a sad movie

hello

Yesterday: Oh my gosh I didn't feel good at all yesterday and I didn't sleep good the night before. I felt a little crappy.
But we all went out on the lake and I got a splinter and it hurts bad.

Then we ate hamburgers and baked potatoes. And sat around and talked. Then I went home and my dad was like are you moving back in and I was like i don't know dude. and then he was like well you can stay here just start telling me more things. Whatever.

Today:
I woke up and took a shower, and then I met everyone at the Mexican. Ew Cassie ordered me something gross. It was a chicken burrito with like cheese sauce on it or something. Then I went to the park and took Cass to the AT&T store.

Tonight:
I wanted to go see a movie but I guess thats not happening. So I'm going grocery shopping and watching Sex In The City tonight.

Tomorrow: I'm going to see My Sister's Keeper.

Quote of the day:
“When you're young, your whole life is about the pursuit of fun. Then, you grow up and learn to be cautious. You could break a bone or a heart. You look before you leap and sometimes you don't leap at all because there's not always someone there to catch you. And in life, there's no safety net. When did it stop being fun and start being scary?”-Sex In The City

Daughter to father, tell me the truth did you ever love me?

Right now I'm listening to family drama.

Ugh. One messed up family.

So I found out today that Billie, Leah, Hallye, and myself all tied for first place last night and I was like Joanne you're kidding me and she was like no I'm dead serious. haha. BUT they had to forfeit because we left. I also found out my cousin died today. Ugh. I'm so not looking forward to the funeral and all that.

Today:
I went to the Diamond Center until 2 and then I went and walked at the park. Then I met Billie at the park and we went to Mexican. Then we went to Ingles just for heck of it and ended up buying candy haha. We saw Timmy, Sam, and Alden. haha. Then we went to Bi-Lo to buy drinks and Dustin was begging us for money. Its like he would really give us sunglasses anyways. Then I went to my grandmas house anticipating on packing my stuff together and going home but I saw my mom sleeping and I laid down and fell asleep. And woke up at 8:30. Sorry Billie, Cassie, Nathan, and John I missed yalls calls. I figured Billie was on break so I didn't call her back. Cassie called just to get a hold of mom probably so I didn't call her back and I don't know what John wanted, but I called Nathan back and he was the only one. And I went to Dairy Queen to get something to eat. Now I'm sitting here at the kitchen table listening to family drama.

I think it is so strange when the most random person sends you texts. I just got one from a good friend I haven't talked to in a while and my phone keeps beeping and my grandma is getting on my nerves saying "is that my phone or your computer?" haha

Tomorrow I don't know what I'm doing but I need to go to church. And I don't have any clothes here to go to church.

Quote of the day:
Billie: "Anyone knows our cars Becca. You drive a blue beat up blazer that everyone jumps on when they see you and my car well it just stands out. So we could get love you mean it on the front of our cars."
Becca: "hahaha everyone jumps on it."
Billie: "Well they do or we could get..."
Becca and Billie: "Love you just saying it!"
Billie: "I should get that."
Becca: "HAHAHA THAT WAS HILARIOUS! Jordan love you mean it. Nathan love you mean it. and Nathan was like Love you just saying it!"

Don't you bother what I do cause no matter what you say I won't return

our bridge has burnt down, I'm stronger now



Good Morning.

Last night:
I went to the Relay and when I got there at like 6 I saw people I dislike very much and they were right across from our tent haha. So I just talked to the people in the tent. They gave me some very informative information about the school I wanna go to. Then Leah came and I was like LALAEAH! As we were walking we saw Dustin and John. So they ended up going with us wherever we went. Actually we got up to the car and I was like I'm not taking you guys with us. Then I said lets see who can get to Wendy's first and Dustin skateboarded there haha. It was so funny. We saw him by the bank and he just started running haha. Then we got to Wendy's and somehow he ended up with a free frosty and large coke. haha. We saw Billie there too working. Oh my gosh John and Dustin were so embarrassing though. Everyone was staring at them and laughing. I was getting ketchup and Dustin and John were talking really loud and this old woman beside them was like cracking up. Then we went to the Diamond Center to get some things and back to the Relay, and then I noticed I forgot my Relay shirt in my car so I had to go back to the Diamond Center to get it and then Billie called and she met us at the Diamond Center and we just drove my car from there. Then we just hung around until our time of fame. haha. And even AUSTIN came =]

Today: I'm doing nothing at all.

I wanna go home!

Quote of the day:
Becca: "Leah thought you were my dad."
Mark: "HAHA did she really?! I could be your brother! But you should of told her I was your boyfriend and she would have been like "OH REALLY HE'S SO HOT!"

Mark won the sexiest legs contest haha.

It's alright, okay, I'm so much better without you I won't be sorry

Hola amigos!

Today:
I came to the Diamond Center.

And I watched 16 and Pregnant again.

It was an episode I missed last night.
Gah then I started thinking about how I don't want to get pregnant. After watching those girls have a baby, makes me really not want to have one. I wouldn't be able to do all that pushing and crap haha.

I went to McDonalds and got Kathy and myself a Hot Fudge Sunday.

And when I got here Mrs.Atkins, David Atkins, and Chris pulled up beside me.
I love Mrs.Atkins. She was like my favorite teacher.
And I won't have her again. Aww gosh we had so much fun in that class. (Jordan, Jc, Josh Bright and Josh Bergan) haha
One time we were taking notes and she was like "is everyone done? can I erase it?" and Jc said no and she erased it anyways. it was so funny. and then we were like doing something and Mrs.Atkins was like what day is it? and Jordan was like Wednesday silly. and she meant the date and she was like JC You don't have to be a smarty about it and it was jordan who said it. Jc thinks she was racist. I don't though. I love her to death. She liked freaked out when they called the homecoming nominees she was like "BECCA YOU GET TO GO DRESS SHOPPING!!!" haha she cracks me up shes so cute.

Then Chris asked me what happened to the side of my car. And I was like long story. I haven't talked to Chris in forever. and then he randomly texted me. I just love things like that. we used to be like best friends it makes my day that he still cares enough about me to talk to me.

I'm also talking to another old friend Tony. Gah I haven't talked to that kid in forever. It's very interesting too.

Tonight is Relay For Life! I will be there around 6 until whenever Billie calls me


Quote of the day:
Becca: "Mom be proud of me. I get like 3 or 4 minutes of fame tonight."
Mom: "Only fame in Blairsville."
Becca: "I'll get a lot of fame when I'm famous. Trust me."

I need to know if its over because I will leave you alone

Today:
I am doing nothing again. Let's just hope I don't get into depression mode again.
I do need to make a drive by/run by my house today to get my dress for tomorrow.
On the plus side, my teeth feel so much better.
So Hersh randomly texted me saying "How's the Diamond Center" sometimes I wish I could hide my car so no one would know where I am.

Actually: today I went to lunch with Billie at the Mexican. Then we went to Zaxby's for my mom. The girl was a retard too.

Show's I've watched today:
I watched two episodes of
-Why is she going out with him? (There's some pretty big deuchebags out there)

Then I watched:
-16 and Pregnant

Then I watched six of episodes of
-The Hills

I miss that show. To bad Lauren ain't gonna be on there anymore. That ruins the show.

Tomorrow:
Relay for Life. I think everyone should come and watch Billie, Leah, and me dance on stage haha just kidding don't.

Quote of the day:
Becca: "your in myrtle beach..go have fun"
Nathan: "hahah im not there yet i leave friday morning"
Becca: "oh haha i knew that!"
Nathan: "lol no u didnt dummy"
Becca: "haha actually you did tell me a few minutes ago."
Nathan: "stupid"
Becca: "psh butt hole"
Nathan: "ewwww"
Becca: "ahahaha you deserve it."

the best song:

Maybe I should I give up.

Soo
I was supposed to go see The Hangover with my mom and when we got to the Blue Ridge Theater they were only playing UP and Transformers. This morning, it said they were playing Land Of The Lost and The Hangover. I'm so fucking pissed.
My life never goes my fucking way and I'm so sick of it. My mom was like heres some money go to Blairsville and I screamed in the parking lot "MOM I'M NOT DRIVING ALL THE WAY TO BLAIRSVILLE TO FIND NO ONE THERE! MY LIFE IS JUST BULL SHIT RIGHT NOW AND I'M SICK OF IT!" And its true my life is nothing but bull shit right now. I don't know what to do. I can't even go home and watch a movie or anything. There's nothing to do at my grandma's house because she talks while your watching TV and she tells old stories and I know this is mean but I can't stand it and I've been holding everything back for too long. I really hate my life right now, I'm having the hardest time and I know nothing is going to change, nothing is going to be better, and I'm pretty sure its going to take a really long time until I'm completly happy again. I just can't do anything anymore. What am I supposed to do?

Oh what a shame what a rainy and ungiven to a perfect day

I just told my mom I wasted my life today.
It seems to me that no one needed me today. So I wish I didn't even wake up today.

This is not gonna be a blog today because nothing has happened and I haven't done anything. At all.

I'm really upset. I keep thinking about everything and I can't stop crying or anything. Its so depressing. I can't do it anymore.

Quote of the day:
Becca: "I don't have any gas to get there silly."
Jordan: "Becca...Lol. You dont have any money."
Becca: "I'm broke. You should feel sorry for me."
Jordan: "Ha..Becca..becca..becca..ha..I'm not going either because I'm out of town."
Becca: "That saddens me because I was expecting to see you and Jc there IF i did go and you both wouldn't have been there. I'm glad I talked to yall this morning."
Jordan: "That makes me saderer because you were going and now you're not and you were expecting to see me and Jc there and we both wouldn't have been there and that would have made you sad."

I wait for the good Lord to make me feel better

I need to vent badly.

Sunday was supposed to be a good day. But it totally wasn't.
I was supposed to see Marshall and tell him all about my trip and give him and my dad their presents I got them. But that didn't happen.
Instead, Marshall told me he was gone to North Carolina to work until next week. I gave my dad his present and he loved it. But then when Cassie and me left to meet my mom, he like flipped out on us and wanted to know what was going on and why Cassie and my mom didn't stay home anymore, and Cassie pretty much told him. That didn't make things any better at all.
When we met my mom, she called my dad and told him to let me come home and get my stuff. Supposedly he told Cassie to never come back.
So I went home and I was in my room. He came in and said "Are you going to grandmas?" and I simply said "I don't want to but I guess I am." And he told me it was best for me to stay there until things get better or "until my mom comes back" which will be never. So I packed half of my stuff and left. Gah I just felt like no one wanted me and I just felt so shitty. And it killed me as I left to see my dad standing there at the front door watching me leave. It sucked so bad. And it really hurts to know that he doesn't want me there, but I don't care, I'm going back when Marshall comes home.
I really wish I could just get my own place. I'm sick of all the family crisis. I think my papaw is just about crazy. I called him on my way home Sunday and he was like "You better come to my birthday party next weekend, you didn't come to the Father's Day dinner." When I saw my mom I asked her if there was going to be a birthday party and she was like his birthday is like in two weeks. I was like well he told me he's having a birthday party next weekend and she was like he's really gone crazy. And if he dies soon its not going to be good at all. Things are just going to get much worse. I'm really scared.
I'm just sick of people worrying about me as well. There's no need to worry about me. I'm fine. I'm just not eating because my mouth. I'm starving but its hard to eat.
Yesterday at gymnastics I was like shaking and Catherine was all freaked out and telling me I wasn't healthy and stuff. I was just like i don't know. And then Kasey told me that someone told her that Mrs.Plott said we don't get along. Kasey and me get along fine. I get along with mostly everyone, I just dislike half of the girls on the squad. I'll probably just talk to Billie, Kasey, and Kelsey. They're all sweet girls.
Today: Cassie left for the beach and she wouldn't even tell me bye. I know this is dumb but I'm very emotional right now and it hurt my feelings that she didn't even say bye. That's so mean.
I'm also really sick of how Marshall is lying so much and it kinda involves me. He lied to his girlfriend telling her that he didn't get home until Tuesday and I was like you're so retarded. He put on his facebook Monday night that he was going to go eat Waffle House with the "little sis at 1:40 in the morning." How did Jess not see that. I'm so tired of her asking me questions about him. Because now I'm at the point where I just don't talk to her at all and I love her to death. And I hate how he's lying to my mom. He's like yeah I got your name off that truck so Becca can get a car now and my mom like found out he lied and didn't do that and he won't answer anyone's calls. Its really starting to piss me off. I'm supposed to have a freaking car now. I'm not even hanging out with my friends today because I'm afraid to drive to Hiawassee because my car can't make it. I've had to get gas everyday. It really sucks. I got $20 the other day and it didn't even fill it up but on the other hand, my gas gauge ain't working. Ugh I'm so torn up.
I don't know what to do today.

Boy we’ve had a real good time and I wish you the best on your way

Hello.

Last night: I went to see The Hangover with Nathan. It was a really good movie and I would like to see it again so I can actually laugh. After that, I went to Wendy's and I saw Billie. I was like JJ can you get Billie because she was standing right there and didn't even see me haha. Then I went to get Cassie at Grandmas and my Grandma told me that she was all worried about me and stuff. Then we went to my nana's and I was eating and I fell asleep. Like I couldn't eat it was bad. Then I went to bed.

Today: I went to work. Daniel and me had like 5 pre-schoolers, and one of them left because she wouldn't do anything haha. Then we went to eat at Grinds and Glazes. I tried to eat Chicken Noodle Soup but it didn't work out. So I'm really hungry. Then I came back to the gym and dropped Daniel off. I think tonight I might work out but I have nothing to do during the day.

Tomorrow: "A friend gathering" We are going to see the Transformers and then go bowling.

Thursday: Nothing
Friday: At midnight: Relay Dance
Saturday: Maybe Papaw's birthday party
Sunday: Nothing

Quote of the day:
Daniel: "I saw this drop dead gorgeous girl and she had this dress on that went to her hips and she scratched her hip kinda and I saw her butt! She had no panties or thong on. I just saw a gorgeous butt!"
Becca: "And how did that make you feel?"
Daniel: "Boing!"
Cassie: "Your cheating on Becca!"

So I'll just sit right here and have another beer in Mexico

Hello fabulous gals and guys haha

Today:
I didn't sleep at all last night but I'm not tired. haha

So my mom made me coffee this morning it was delicous. haha

And then I came to Blairsville.

And then Cassie and me went to Dairy Queen around 12 and then to the Dentist.

My mom didn't even tell me I was getting fillings or anything. She just told me I was getting my teeth cleaned. And I had some doctor who I've never seen before and he was like you have four fillings we need to do and I was like wait dude I'm only supposed to get my teeth cleaned by Kristy. And he was like oh I guess your mom didn't tell you! And that was really painful.

Then while I was waiting to get my teeth cleaned Dr.Hold came by and he was like how are you doing? You had a lot to do today! And I like gave him a go to hell look and some woman was like of course shes not doing good bless her heart shes had 4 fillings and he's like well your sister is in reverse and i was like haha whatever.

I love Kristy shes so sweet. and shes like I saw your mom at the Mexican with all your family the other night and she said yall we're in Tybee and I asked if you guys were still coming for your appointment today and she said yes but I'm not telling them about the fillings. and Kristy was like haha okay and all this bull crap haha

then I waited on Cassie she had to have five fillings haha
and I go back to see her and I was so loopy and Cassie was like haha you look weird! and Dr.Hold was like you guys can be the NUMBY GIRLS and i was like haha NO

I've always been mean to the poor guy

It hurt to talk though and I can feel the shots they put in my mouth =[

And Cassie and me went to McDonalds but I didn't get anything and the lady looked at me weird when I gave her my money haha


Now I'm going to go see The Hangover.

Quote of the day:
Cassie: "Alex sent me the weirdest message today."
Becca: "Whats new?"
Cassie: "It was like I don't like you I love you. I don't think your pretty I think your beautiful..."
Becca: "Yeah yeah yeah I've already heard all that crap. I'm sorry but he's weird."
Cassie: "I know he is...wait you just wish you had someone to tell you that."
Becca: "Psh I would want someone to write it from their heart instead of looking things up like that. Thats what would mean the most."

Right now there's you and me

Hello.

Monday: I went out with Billie and at 1:40 am Marshall came in my room and he's like you wanna go to Waffle House and I was like duh. So we went and we saw his friend Cody. And there were these guys that kept staring us down. It was so weird. and our waitress sucked and Marshall was like leave her a $2 tip but I only left her a dollar haha and then we pulled out and the guys were still staring and Marshall was like cock suckers are still staring.

Tuesday: We left at like 9 am to go to Tybee Island. And we went on the beach and it was like a sand storm haha it was so weird. Oh my gosh I can't even remember if we watched a movie. Oh no we were gonna watch Camp Rock and Cassie blew a fuze so Billie's and my bedroom had no electricity and neither did Cassie or Alex's or Leahs.

Wednesday: We went on the beach and pool and played Monopoly that night and watched Camp Rock

Thursday: Gah I don't remember anything we had epic times too
We went on the beach and pool and played Monopoly. And we watched... I don't know what we watched actually. Oh we went out by the pier and beach all dressed up haha

Friday: We went to GA Southern. It was so hot. But I love that school and I'm for sure going there. And we watched Sex In The City and Miley Cyrus was right by our condo and she was like filming a movie scene. we didn't see her though

Saturday: We went out on the beach and we watched Hairspray and The Notebook. Oh we went shopping before that.

Sunday: We left at like 8 and had a fun time driving back. (Leah and Billie and myself)

I missed a lot of things we did but I don't remember them. Thats so bad. I just love how we all went out and sat on the balcony every night. It was fun.


This week:

Monday: Dentist appointment =[ and idk what else yet.
Tuesday: Working. Yay DP
Wednesday: I am going to see Transformers with a bunch of people and then we are going to Connor and Casey's house. I don't even remember where that is. I've only been there once. haha
Friday: Relay for life

In the McDonalds parking lot Tuesday morning. Thats where we ate breakfast haha

Quote of the day:
(watching Camp Rock)
Billie: "DAMNIT WHY DON'T THEY JUST KISS EACH OTHER ALREADY!?!"

I never thought that I had anymore to give pushing me so hard here I am without you

Hello lovelies.

Today was interesting.
I got up and went to Blairsville. Cassie and me went to eat Mexican. Then we went back to the DC. Then Ansley came by and wanted me to go to the dog park "secret spot" as Billie calls it. And Blaine fished while we worked things out.
Then at 5 Billie and me met and we were supposed to go see Alisha but that didn't happen.
So we went to Hiawassee and ate Dairy Queen and Austin and Adrian came. Then we went to the gym to get my money, and then we went to the park and ride and chatted with people. then we went to get John. Haha. and we went to Young Harris park and swung on the swings. Then we went to the campus to walk. They walked I stayed in the car. Then we went back to get money out of my car and Billie left me and took John back to where he needed to be haha. Then we went to McDonalds for the fourth time for me, and third for Billie. We saw Ashlee everytime haha. Then we saw Shawna. And hung out with her. And got my dad and Marshall food.
Now I'm home done packing =]

Tomorrow shall be grand.

Quote of the day:
Becca: "Dddducktown! Ducktown! You know that cartoon with the ducks?"
Adrian: "No."
Becca: "It went like DDDDUCKTOWN DUCKTOWN!"
Billie: "Do you mean Ducktails?"
Becca: "YEAH!!! DDDDUCKTAILS DUCKTAILS!!"

It's a little to late for you to come back, today was just a mistake

you think I'd forgive you like that? If you thought I would wait for you..you thought wrong.



Good afternoon.

Marshall came home last night at like 12 something and I was trying to go to sleep so I went in the kitchen and I was like Hey! and I scared the shit out of him. I wish I had it on video. So we talked for awhile about life and such. Then I figured I would try to go to sleep and I couldn't so Marshall, dad, and me stayed up until like 4 because no one could go to sleep. Then I went to sleep at 4 and woke up at 7 and then i went back to sleep and woke up at 10 and then I woke up at like 1 something.
And my dad made me a really good lunch. I love that man.
Now I'm sitting here watching Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. Well now its over but still. that's a freaky movie.
Gah I'm like so pissed off right now.
I hate it when friends act like they're your friend. Ugh.

Ooo now I'm watching Legally Blonde
I love that movie.

Tomorrow: I'm going to get a pedicure. I need one. And a back massage.

And I'm packing for Savannah tomorrow. I'm so excited.
I really wanna see The Hangover. UUUGGGHHHH


Quote of the day:
"Imagine the people you see everyday right now, the people you would least expect to not see tomorrow. In a couple years, college will come and with it new friends and new experiences. The people you see everyday in the halls; your friends and some of them, your best friends, will disappear from your life... each going their own way. You'll see them once every 10 years at some random reunion, if that. These are the people you have grown up with and become friends with or even if you're not, there will come a time when many of them won't even cross your mind. The truth is ... you'll see your best friends maybe once a year because time goes by so fast and everyone is so busy. Enjoy today and enjoy tomorrow because these days come but once in your lives. Be thankful for what you have and most of all, for who you have in your life because life's plan for you may bring you away from these people. But no matter what anyone else says, and no matter what time can do, your heart will always bring the best back, and your memories with them will forever hold a place in your soul."

Your beautiful but you don't even try

Hello.

Today: I woke up at like 12 something and got ready and got gas. Then, I cherried myself to my grandma's house and saw Laurel, and Steven (cousins) and Uncle Tim. Later, Uncle Tim left and then Cassie and mom finally got there. We all had fun. Haha it was interesting. Then they left at like 7 and mom and cassie and me went to Walmart, Pizza Hut, and Ingles. Now I'm here.

Tomorrow: Sunday Funday out on the lake!

and MARSHALL'S HOME..for ten days.

Currently listening to: Fly With Me-Jonas Brothers

Quote of the day:
(Steven talking about Grandma)
Becca: "Steven! That's mean shes right there."
Steven: "She can't hear us. Say Grandma."
Becca: "GRANDMA! GRANDMA!"
Steven: "See..she didn't even notice you were saying her name."

if you jump I will jump too we will fall together

I'm gonna vent.

So.
I hung out with Greg and Taylor and their girl friends and they were like lets all go to Morganton Point to see some friends and I was like I'll go home and they're like no come with us so I rode with Taylor and we got there and everyone was talking and these people are all in band. Except Greg. They go "Your not a band geek are you?" and I said "No." and they said "Are you a cheerleader?"
and I said "Yes." and they said "We hate cheerleaders." and i didn't even know what to say.So after that they just didn't talk to me at all.

im really sad.
im gonna go to bed early and watch a movie.

I found a way to let you in but I never really had a doubt

Hello.

I got like 3-4 hours of sleep last night. I'm dead tired. I woke up at 8:30 this morning and got ready to go work for mom. I think she's proud of me =]

I answered the phones and helped people

I'm proud of myself.
I also got Kathy lunch and saw Jennifer and Alex (Billie's mom and sister) then they came in the Diamond Center to tell us about our Savannah trip and then Billieboo came in =]
And we talked.

Tonight: I'm going to meet some friends from Blue Ridge to go eat Dairy Queen. It shall be fun fun fun.

Tomorrow: I'm going to see Hangover


Quote of the day:
(Elizabeth on the phone with Brent)
Elizabeth: "Yes we love you Brent."
Suzanne: "I love you Brent."
Cassie: "I love you Brent."
Elizabeth: "Cassie and Suzanne said they love you."
Brent: "Becca didn't say I love you?"
Elizabeth: "Ha no she didn't."
Brent: "I didn't think she would."

Currently listening to: 7 Things-Miley Cyrus

I can see the world through your eyes we'll leave it all behind

Today:
Me and my dad went and ate at Sue's again.

Then we rode around Blue Ridge. Then I went to Blairsville to see mom and Cassie. And since my mom has to take my grandma to the doctor tomorrow, I'm working at the Diamond Center tomorrow. I'm so nice. But she is getting me a car so I need to do some nice things for her.

Then Cassie and me ate at Mexican and the waitor kept flirting with us.

Then we went to McDonalds and the woman GRABBED MY HAND!!!!! and she gave us this coupon thing and told us we needed to try some McCafe thing. haha

Then I got my dad Subway and I got gas.

Tonight: I'm going to watch 16 and Pregnant.

Quote of the day:
Becca: "I want a chicken sandwich and a sweet tea."
Dad: "And fries."
Becca: "No I don't want fries."
Dad: "Yeah you do."
Becca: "Ha no buddy I don't."
Dad: "You need some well you can have some of mine then."
(20 minutes later)
Dad: "You want some of my fries?"
Becca: "No."
Dad: "Are you sure?"
Becca: "Yeah."
Dad: "Have some."
Becca: "I don't want any."
Dad: "You need them."
Becca: "NO I DON'T."
I think my dad just tried to annoy me today. I about killed him today.

Then we went passed the pink car I wanted and he told me he would be more embarrassed to ride with me in that car then I would in his truck and I said I would make it be embarrassing.

Currently listening to: If I Were A Boy-Beyonce

I can't take a day without you here. You're the light that makes my darkness disappear

Hello dear ones.

Lets see I woke up at like around 12 something. It was a late 12.

BUT I had a good reason.

I went to sleep at like 2. Then this morning at like God knows what time my dad comes in my room and he's like BECCA OH MY GOSH DID YOU KNOW YOU HAVE SENIOR PICTURES AT 10:30? And I was like yeah we cancelled them and he kept asking me questions and I was so mean I was like DAD YOU HAVE WOKE ME UP EARLY IN THE PAST TWO MORNINGS! LET ME SLEEP!!!!!That was mean.

Then I woke up and he we're about to leave to go eat.

I have nothing to do now. My aunt's birthday party got cancelled because shes sick.
=[

I'm so mad because people texted me and they're like lets hangout and I'm like I can't. So now I have no one to hang with. =[

Okayy well I'll type more about my day when I get back.

xoxo
Beccaa

How long will I be waiting to be with you again?

I come to tell you that I love you, in the best way that I can.




=]

That song makes me cry.
I was listening to it on my way home and started crying. But I haven't had a good day.

First.
I was supposed to wake up at like around 7 so my mom could follow me to Blairsville because I'm scared to drive that thing I have BUT my dad woke me up at like 2:30 asking me what button on the phone is the pound key and how he wanted me to call this number for him and all this shit. I was so pissed. My mom then called me at 7:30and I was like I'm going to sleep momma and she said okay call me when you leave the house. So I slept until 11 something. And got ready and hungout at the Diamond Center ALL DAY. It sucked.

Second.
We went to Bill Holt Cheverolet and Pontiac in Ellijay. I knew they didn't have Pontiac G6's available so I was anticipating on finding something else that I liked. I kinda like the G5's but I don't want one. I saw a two door/two seater car but it was red. I'm so picky. But then my mom told me that she has two cars in her name right now and she can't have another one in her name so I was really pissed. Then she told me they kept calling her today figuring out a deal because shes a getting a car too.

While we were there Cassie kept saying "You need a job. Get a job. Your so lazy get a job." and I yelled this while we were at the car place "CASSIE SHUT THE HELL UP I'M SICK OF YOU TELLING ME EVERY SINGLE DAY THAT I NEED A DAMN JOB! GET OFF MY BACK ABOUT IT, IT'S NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS SO JUST SHUT THE HELL UP!"
I think my mom was a little pissed but it needed to be said.

She's like a little bitch. I swear 14 year old girls are going through some kind of phase and they're all little bitches and they think they're better than everyone else. Well guess what? THEY'RE NOTHING SPECIAL!

UGH.

Oh then we went and ate at Papa's Pizza in complete silence.
We were all very angry.

Hell, I'm still angry.

Tomorrow: I'm going to my Aunt's surprise birthday party in Ellijay.
Friday: I am hanging out with some friends from Blue Ridge who I haven't seen in forever.
Saturday: Who knows.
Sunday: Don't know.
Monday: Packing for SAVANNAH

Quote of the day:
"I decided, very early on, just to accept life unconditionally; I never expected it to do anything special for me, yet I seemed to accomplish far more than I had ever hoped. Most of the time it just happened to me without my ever seeking it."-Audrey Hepburn

Currently listening to: Sadie Hawkins Dance- Relient K

Now your my whole life now your my whole world

I just can't believe the way I feel about you.

BEST SONG EVER

Tell my mother and tell my father, I've done the best I can

I hated today.

I didn't sleep at all last night. I went to bed at like 12 and just laid in bed. I couldn't sleep. Then I figured I would watch TV and Jon and Kate Plus 8 was on so I watched that, then two episodes of Cake Boss and then the Little Couple. I still couldn't sleep after that and it was like 2. So I pretty much just laid in bed until 7:15. And then Cassie came to the house and we went to eat McDonalds. Oh my gosh she was the biggest bitch. She was like GET A JOB out of no where and bitched at me for what I was eating and told me I was selfish. I just about shot her. I also felt like I was going to throw up today. Thankfully I didn't. Then I went and coached and this little girl asked me a MILLION questions. UGH I was so mad.

At 5 I went back to coach and this little girl farted in my face..again.
Then I was leaving and I got down to the stop sign and my car died. I was like shit. So I called the gym and I was like I'm stuck down here in the middle of the road. And Jenna was like I'll come get you but we need to move your car and I was like good luck. I called my mom while waiting on her and I finally got my car started and Kelsey Lockaby's mom wanted to follow me home and I was like no thats not necessary. That's a long ass drive haha. But I made it home. OH WAIT I saw Suzanne walking Brady and I rolled my window down and it wouldn't role back up.

I'm also not going to Virginia.

I hate this.

Tomorrow I'm going to look at cars for sure. I really really don't want a four door car. Hell with that. I'll find something different.

Quote of the day:
"It seems like I can only remember the boring things that happen to me."