I wait for the good Lord to make me feel better

I need to vent badly.

Sunday was supposed to be a good day. But it totally wasn't.
I was supposed to see Marshall and tell him all about my trip and give him and my dad their presents I got them. But that didn't happen.
Instead, Marshall told me he was gone to North Carolina to work until next week. I gave my dad his present and he loved it. But then when Cassie and me left to meet my mom, he like flipped out on us and wanted to know what was going on and why Cassie and my mom didn't stay home anymore, and Cassie pretty much told him. That didn't make things any better at all.
When we met my mom, she called my dad and told him to let me come home and get my stuff. Supposedly he told Cassie to never come back.
So I went home and I was in my room. He came in and said "Are you going to grandmas?" and I simply said "I don't want to but I guess I am." And he told me it was best for me to stay there until things get better or "until my mom comes back" which will be never. So I packed half of my stuff and left. Gah I just felt like no one wanted me and I just felt so shitty. And it killed me as I left to see my dad standing there at the front door watching me leave. It sucked so bad. And it really hurts to know that he doesn't want me there, but I don't care, I'm going back when Marshall comes home.
I really wish I could just get my own place. I'm sick of all the family crisis. I think my papaw is just about crazy. I called him on my way home Sunday and he was like "You better come to my birthday party next weekend, you didn't come to the Father's Day dinner." When I saw my mom I asked her if there was going to be a birthday party and she was like his birthday is like in two weeks. I was like well he told me he's having a birthday party next weekend and she was like he's really gone crazy. And if he dies soon its not going to be good at all. Things are just going to get much worse. I'm really scared.
I'm just sick of people worrying about me as well. There's no need to worry about me. I'm fine. I'm just not eating because my mouth. I'm starving but its hard to eat.
Yesterday at gymnastics I was like shaking and Catherine was all freaked out and telling me I wasn't healthy and stuff. I was just like i don't know. And then Kasey told me that someone told her that Mrs.Plott said we don't get along. Kasey and me get along fine. I get along with mostly everyone, I just dislike half of the girls on the squad. I'll probably just talk to Billie, Kasey, and Kelsey. They're all sweet girls.
Today: Cassie left for the beach and she wouldn't even tell me bye. I know this is dumb but I'm very emotional right now and it hurt my feelings that she didn't even say bye. That's so mean.
I'm also really sick of how Marshall is lying so much and it kinda involves me. He lied to his girlfriend telling her that he didn't get home until Tuesday and I was like you're so retarded. He put on his facebook Monday night that he was going to go eat Waffle House with the "little sis at 1:40 in the morning." How did Jess not see that. I'm so tired of her asking me questions about him. Because now I'm at the point where I just don't talk to her at all and I love her to death. And I hate how he's lying to my mom. He's like yeah I got your name off that truck so Becca can get a car now and my mom like found out he lied and didn't do that and he won't answer anyone's calls. Its really starting to piss me off. I'm supposed to have a freaking car now. I'm not even hanging out with my friends today because I'm afraid to drive to Hiawassee because my car can't make it. I've had to get gas everyday. It really sucks. I got $20 the other day and it didn't even fill it up but on the other hand, my gas gauge ain't working. Ugh I'm so torn up.
I don't know what to do today.