I need to blog.

Some things have happened in my life that are very dramatic. I talked to my aunt today, and she told me I just need to stay strong and keep going on with my life. But I can't do it. I'm tired of doing that and telling people I'm fine and happy when I'm not. Its not fair, and I do not like telling people my problems. I'm just having a real hard time with everything right now. I feel so weak and I'm really really hurt. It seems like no one can make me feel better at all. I just want to be gone. Like out of this town. I talked to my dad last night and he told me, "Becca, I know you're having a hard time with family and friends but you just need to say fuck it and just move on. I don't like telling people my problems either and you shouldn't have to feel the need to share any of your problems with anyone if YOU don't want to. But you just need to not tell anyone anything so you won't have such a hard time. Girls are little bitches and if they think you're a whore because you have a lot of guy friends fuck them you don't need them in your life." He's right too. I let everyone walk all over me. I tell people things I don't want to tell them. I told him I can't wait until next year when I'll be out of this town and I can start all over with my life. I'm just so miserable and I cry every single night. I'm just tired of freaking everything. I used to care about so many people and try to help them but when I need help with something they're just like oh well you can do it and they just move on with their lives and they don't bother to talk to me until they need something. Its just greedy. I wanna write a book. I think thats what I'm going to do.