Why did you say I love you if you knew that it wouldn't last

I was talking to my cousin today and we talked before our movie started and she told me something that meant a lot.

"Becca, seriously don't trust anybody anymore. You really can't. Girls only hate you because they're jealous..I was hated and now they all talk to me.. Guys hate you because you don't put out."

I'm really extremly upset right now.
I think when I get back to Blue Ridge I'm just gonna spend the first couple of days by myself and think about things. I'm really sick of shit.


I made a commitment to myself to just start keeping things to myself. And thats what I'm going to do so life will be easier.

I am also planning on being different. I never let my guard down so easily as I have in the past months.. well thats changing. I will not do that for anyone else...unless I know them for a good while.

Things I need to do:

Dye my hair dark.--Wednesday
Go shopping.--Saturday/Sunday
Have a movie night with Jessica.--Who knows.
Stay in bed.--Monday,Tuesday (after work), Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday
Finish reading Running With Scissors.--During the lazy/thinking week.
Go shoe shopping.--Next next Monday.





Suzanne: "Who wants some Hershey Pie?"
Elizabeth: "Becca does! Actually she has to have it she needs some!"
(hear people by the pool which isn't allowed because it was like 10)
Suzanne: "I can't even eat my damn pie because we can't figure out how to turn this movie on and those people are sooo loud!"
Elizabeth: "Go yell at them Becca, go get your anger out."
Becca: "I would..but..its not worth it."